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It’s been a long time since I last posted a blog–I blame busyness. But looking back on 57 pounds (47 on Buddyslim) and my latest mini-goal achieved (to no longer be obese, just overweight), I thought I should pass along some encouragement to those just starting this journey.

 First of all, Buddyslim is the way to go! No matter what your personal plan for weight loss is, you will find unwavering supporters. When you’re down, they’ll boost you up. But remember, you get out of it what you put into it. When you quit posting and boosting and encouraging, you drop off the radar. (I’ve been off the radar for a while, so I know what I’m talking about!)

 Next, learn your own body. Don’t be afraid to learn and experiment. I can tell you what works for me, but that won’t necessarily be the thing that works for you. I do recommend keeping your insulin levels in check. Out of control insulin means out of control eating, whether you’re diabetic or not. And eat real food–not processed junk. But you know that already.

 Next, learn your own mind. Emotional hunger is a giant biggie. I think the main reason we have trouble doing what we know we should is that we self-sabotage. You know the routine: the voices in your head begin to say things like “Why bother? You know you can’t do it. You never finish anything. You’re not worth the trouble. You’re a failure. Why bother?” You’ve got to shut these voices up! They come out of bad experiences in your past that you can resolve. I highly highly recommend EFT (www.emofree.com). It has been a dramatically successful tool to me for getting past those old hurts. I’ve also got a blog about shame you might want to read.

 Next, work with your habits, not against them. We jump into our new “plan” by changing everything we do right away. No more snacks. No more cleaning our plates. No more dessert. Don’t do this! Behaviors are notoriously hard to change. Don’t change them. Change your plan to fit your behavior. If you like an afternoon snack, don’t make yourself do without. Plan for it. Make it a big deal. Eat something that works well with your plan. Then you don’t feel deprived. I am a plate cleaner. I WILL eat everything on my plate; consequently, I eat off a saucer. I have the cutest little clear cups that serve as bowls. Cleaning my plate makes me feel good. So I do it–and keep my plan intact. By the way, this works great for housecleaning as well–check out “The House that Cleans Itself.” I have to credit that book for a tremendous breakthrough in my weight. And my house is clean too!

Finally, add things a little along. Sure, you need to do all the stuff in your plan–healthy foods, controlled portions, exercise, prayer time–but add them as you go. Then be sure to add them. A schedule is a very good thing. Month one I’ll do this, then in month two I’ll add this. People always ask me “What are you doing?” I’m afraid to tell them for fear they’ll throw up their hands in despair. But trust me, this time last year, I was only doing a fifth of what I do now in my plan.

 So, get yourself a plan and get going. Little by little is the best way anyhow. Feel free to comment or send me a message if you have particular questions. I’m happy to help!!

 Love to all my companions on the journey!!

Rhonda

This is a really super piece written for the newspaper I work for. I just had to share it with you guys. I hope it will open your eyes like it did mine.

Envision Change by Janet Kent

Each January 1, a custom in some households is to declare a New Year’s Resolution for the coming year. Just as customary is the breaking of these promises to ourselves, year after year. The most popular resolutions are to quit smoking, drinking or using foul language, sticking to a budget, and living a healthier lifestyle.

One of the reasons resolutions fail is because we have expectations of immediate change. We are quick to give up and to decide that this life is impossible for us to lead. Depending on our choice of change, we must first take a look at how long we have been living our current lifestyle. Did we take up smoking at a young age? Have we always drowned our sorrows in debt? When did we first notice all this extra weight?

There are a number of psychological and physiological tactics to promote change. A favorite of mine is known as The Dickens Pattern. It requires visualization. We all probably enjoyed some version of Charles Dickens’ classic story of Ebenezer Scrooge recently. This story is the influence behind this visualization technique.

Here is an idea of the method behind this approach. Close your eyes and take yourself back to 5 years ago. What did you look like? Where did you work? How old were you? What size did you wear? Remember what you looked like and how you felt when you went out in public 5 years ago. What types of foods were you eating? What types of outings did you enjoy? What types of outings did you miss out on and why?

Now bring yourself into today. After living 5 years that way, what do you look like now? Are you going places more or less often than before? Are you still eating the same things you’ve been eating for the last 5 years? How is your health? Do you suffer from illnesses you haven’t suffered from before? Do you experience physical limitations now that you didn’t have 5 years ago? How do you feel about yourself today?

Now take yourself 5 years into your future, if you were to change nothing. 5 more years of eating the same, moving the same, and living life the same. What do you look like? How old are you in 5 years? How’s your health? What do you enjoy after living the same way for 10 years?

Now, open your eyes and realize that you are 5 years away from that. You have a new chance at life. What if you succeed with this year’s resolution? Imagine yourself 5 years from now, having made those changes. What size do you wear? How great do you feel every day? What do you enjoy eating? Where do you go? How old are you? How old do you feel? This can be you.

Decide to make a positive change in your life. Then, don’t turn back. Move forward. Make 2008 the year you realize your vision.
 

Ok, the word is out–there is a now a 5th taste. Sweet, sour, bitter, salty, and (drum roll) umami! Yep, umami–Japanese for deliciousness. Umami is a meaty, savory, cover your tongue satisfaction found in huge concentrations in Parmesan cheese, meats, mushrooms, and seaweed.

You remember MSG in the Chinese food? MSG was developed decades ago when Japanese researchers discovered that the naturally occurring protein substance glutamate triggered taste bud receptors just like the other four tastes. They found a way to separate out the glutamate in monosodium glutamate (MSG), which Asian cooks use as a spice just like we do salt or sugar. Now the world scientific community has jumped on the umami bandwagon.

What does that mean for our eating plans? I think it’s just huge!! That taste we’re hankering for when we eat Cheezits (a big one for me) or bacon or cheese or a hamburger may be umami. Just like we sometimes crave sugar or salt, we can surely crave umami flavor.

I say, nip this in the bud by providing yourself a judicious sprinkling of umami flavoring in otherwise low-cal, healthier fare. After all, ’tis better to chop up two pepperoni over that lovely fresh salad to give it a touch of umami kick than to succumb to two slices of pepperoni pizza to try to satisfy that craving.

At lunch today, I made a lovely fresh salad bar salad and made a point of putting maybe 1 teaspoon each of shredded cheese and chopped ham which I mixed thoroughly in with all the other good stuff like cucumbers and shredded carrot. Every bite had a little umami flavor, along with the natural sweet of the carrot (plus three slices of chopped beets that I also deliberately put in for a touch of sweetness). The cheese and ham also carried a touch of salt and with the slight bitterness of the salad greens and sour of the vinegar, I had an incredibly satisfying salad with very low calories, very high nutritional value, and a taste extravaganza!

I am going to experiment with parmesan cheese and the like to see how I can give very healthy foods a little umami kick to maximize their palatability and satisfactoriness while not adding lots of calories or fats.

I’m also going to drop a umami post on the board for us to comment to on great uses of umami flavor. Y’all have a great weekend!!!

After years of reading and learning about nutrition, I have come to a conclusion: our diet and exercise goal should be to convince our bodies that it is always springtime and that we are occasionally chased by lions.

Think about it–the Standard American Diet–which we know is not good for us–is a diet that convinces the body that it is the dead of winter and time to store fat so you don’t freeze to death. That hotdog and mac and cheese is nothing but preserved meat (just like old fashioned salt pork), carbs (made from dried grains), and fat (whale blubber or lard).

The high meat, high carb diet we love so much is identical to a winter subsistence diet from the old days. Think preserved hams, dried beans, grains, etc. Of course, in the old days, folks would also eat winter greens like collards and kale and root veggies like sweet potatoes and turnips. The Standard American diet has dumped those in favor of sugar. If we eat like this, our bodies think it is subzero survival time. Pile on the pounds! Slow down the metabolism!

We should be trying to eat like its springtime–lots of fresh growing things, sprouts (my new fav item), fresh fruits, anything with loads of nutritional value so our bodies believe that we live in a time of plenty. I truly believe that for years my overweight body was actually malnourished because I lacked the minerals, vitamins, and digestible nutrients that come from quality food intake. Overly preserved, overly processed food cannot provide that. Once I started feeding it the good stuff (thank you, Maker’s Diet), my cravings went away, my insulin levels evened out, my yeast overgrowth died back, and my cells started actually burning up excess fat. Physically, I became ready to lose weight. (Read the kudzu blog for dealing with the emotional stuff.)

My cells have to burn fat and get fit because I am now trying to convince my body that I am occasionally chased by lions. Sitting on the couch all day tells the body that there is no threat to us. We are totally safe and can get as big as we want. Those bursts of activity in an otherwise sedentary day lets the body know that we can be chased by lions and had better be thin enough and fit enough to run away. During my exercise, I have even begun to imagine the lions behind me so my body will get the idea that fitness is a survival necessity!

And this is exactly the truth! I might not be chased by lions, but diabetes runs in my family like a pack of cheetas, hunting down the weakest member of the herd. If you’ve read my blogs, you know that the whole skin cancer episode put cancer on my list as a potential predator, a leopard in the tree watching, ready to pounce if I let my guard down. My dad died of a heart attack and was an otherwise very fit, lean man. That cobra in the grass ought to make me more careful about my food choices.

We may know we live in a land of plenty, but if our bodies feel like it’s winter starvation, hide in a cave and conserve energy time, how can we possibly achieve the lean, healthy, energetic body we all want?

Pass the veggies, I hear a lion coming.

If you have not yet seen the Diane Sawyer interview with a lady named Nancy Makin who lost over 500 pounds with the support of “faceless strangers” on the internet, go to Yahoo and watch it now!! Folks, this is what we are doing right here, right now on Buddyslim.

I have never felt so supported by people as I have on Buddyslim. My buddies have come through for me time and time again with encouragement and unselfish love. I know you have felt the same way. We are all walking the same path and knowing that we have each other can help us be successful.

However, the trick is that we must stay with the group! I have been logging on since August. Since then, several of my buddies from the start are no longer here. I hope they will come back. If you are a Buddyslim newbie, I challenge you to stay with us. Post and post and post. Send notes to your buddies. Encourage someone else. Read blogs and respond to them–Let people know that they have been heard!!! These same people will listen and encourage you.

We have a number of really wonderful, consistent bloggers who read and respond so readily and I want you each to know how much I have valued your loving touch on my life. But, even if you can only read every few days or once a week for 30 minutes at lunch, take that time to drop someone a short note on their blog. Give love and support to someone else and it will come back to you!!!

Meanwhile, I thank you all and love you all!!

Rhonda

I work at a newspaper and this morning, my job was to write an op-ed piece for the Thanksgiving issue coming up next week. I couldn’t help but reflect on the lessons I’ve learned and re-learned this past few weeks as I’ve dealt with some health issues–namely a skin cancer on my face (non-melanoma, but invasive) and the removal of some HPV lesions—okay, okay, I’ll just come out and say it–genital warts–the virus of which might have contributed to the squamous cell cancer on the face.

 BTW, if you too have genital warts, don’t feel alone. Between 25-33% of the female population of the US has had or does have HPV at some point. Mine date back 14 years to my one and only sexual adventure (nightmare) before marriage. There is a darned good reason the virgin to virgin matchup on the wedding night is the ideal combination from a health standpoint, not to mention very sound spiritual and emotional reasons as well.

Also, I am so grateful that this blog is populated by caring, loving fellow travellers along the road or I’d have never revealed my private issue. I guess I have become the poster child for coming out of the HPV closet now as well as the skin cancer checkup poster child.

 Anyway–back to anxiety. While waiting and still waiting for the dreaded pap smear results to find out if I’m in trouble anywhere else and while waiting and still waiting for the LEEP procedure next week to electrocute off the warts, I’ve experienced my fair share of anxiety. Also, both my stepsons’ marriages are on the verge of disaster, so my husband is dealing with a lot of fallout from this as well. Where will the grandchildren go? Will everybody be able to get along? Will anybody seek help counselling before it is too late? You see what I mean.

However, in church this past Sunday I myself was called upon to teach the lesson on letting go of worry. Jesus said, which of us can make a bit of difference in our lives by worrying about stuff? Give it all to God and put our focus there, then the rest of it will fall in line (a bit of loose paraphrasing but you can find it in Matthew). Later on Paul challenges us to turn our worry into gratitude. This has always been a problem for me, but I’m finding out just how powerful it is.

When we worry, all our focus is on our problem to the exclusion of everything else good in our lives. When we respond with gratitude, we refocus back on the wonderful blessings we’ve been given and the big picture God holds of our whole lives. It’s like travelling with a talking GPS guide like a Tom-Tom. Without it, when we are travelling and get hungry, we have no idea when the next town is coming up, much less the next Subway. With a Tom-Tom that knows what lies ahead, it can tell us exactly how far we are to Subway and that we’re going to have to detour around road construction to get there.

Trusting in God is like having a Tom-Tom, except that God doesn’t talk back audibly very often. He works more on a turn by turn direction system. If we have faith and keep seeking him, he’ll guide us turn by turn around the scary looking construction and over to the Subway where we can have a nice turkey sandwich on honey oat with no cheese, all the veggies, some oil and vinegar dressing and a dash of parmesan cheese (my fav). I used to like the yogurt until I started making my own–which I HIGHLY recommend. Eurocuisine makes a marvelous yogurt maker.

 So, everybody, let go and let God, if I may be permitted a cliche. It does truly work.

If you don’t remember the song referenced by the title, it’s a Cyndi Lauper tune from the 80s (class of 84 rules!!!) Just an update on the whole skin cancer thing. Got it taken off/out this morning. Fortunately we caught it very early and I only have a small hole in my face. Small is the size of the end of my little finger and deep enough to go to the cheek muscle–looks horrible, even stitched up. I thought it was absolutely HUGE and GROSS.

 However, the nurse was congratulating me on having such a small hole. She said they regularly make holes the size of a quarter in folks. So the lesson here is, if you have any funky bump (mine sprang up like a little mole over about 2 weeks) or a scaly patch or skin lesion that hasn’t healed up, GO now to the dermatologist and get it taken care of. If you ignore it, it will just get bigger and you will have to have a hole the size of a penny or a silver dollar instead of a little finger size. You do not want this–trust me. The small hole is traumatic enough.

 Plus, GO get the mammogram and pap smear out of the way. If it wasn’t enought to have skin cancer this morning, I also had to go in to get additional views b/c they saw something on one breast. Thank the Lord above, it turned out to be normal tissue. If I can make it through the pap smear next week, I figure I’ll be okay for a bit–at least until next year.

What does this have to do with food and weight? Well, they have been telling us for years to eat healthy, get to a healthy weight, and wear sunscreen. If you aren’t serious right now about your personal plan, sit down for a minute and have a talk with yourself. How many holes in your face, or breast, or cervix, or heart, or pancrease is it going to take before you work through your personal issues with food? How many nervous moments at the doc’s office is it going to take before you get that exercise in each day? Too much food will kill us. Overeating is toxic. Junk the junk, eat the whole foods, watch the portion sizes, get moving.

 This is the first day of the rest of your life. How many more firsts do you want? My grandmother just turned 90 and celebrated with a trip to play the slots at the casino. She said she’s living every moment. Y’all, I want to be 90 and on the go, playing bingo and going shopping. When I turned 40, I realized that the first 40 had been given to me. I would have to earn the next 50 with clean living and good choices.

This hole in my face is my reality check. What’s yours?

If I thought my life was crazy before, boy, have I had a comeuppance. Excellence in nutrition has become my theme of late, largely due to the squamous cell skin cancer that is going to be removed from my face next week. Knowing that this is a fairly common occurance and that nobody is having a fit about it but me does not stop me from having a fit about it myself. Need more antioxidants in my diet . . . must have quality nourishment . . .

 Gee whiz. Cancer. Even if it is so minor that they won’t even let me in the Relay for Life Survivor breakfast with it. Even if it is so minor that cancer policies specifically exclude it as grounds for making a claim. Gee whiz. Cancer. Boy, has my worldview taken a swift kick in the pants.

I watched Crazy, Sexy Cancer on Discovery/TLC/one of those channels the other week when it was on and thought to myself, “Wow. Those women are going through something I hope I never have to go through.” What I didn’t know at the time was that I actually right then at that moment had cells in my body that were cancer–minor though it is. And yes, I do have my annual physical with pap smear and mammogram already scheduled. If you have been remiss, get yourself seen right now.

By the way, go to the dermatologist with anything weird. I started going with redness and big pores–turns out my red face was indeed rosacea (thank you, old tv commercial). A prescription cream has turned my complexion around. When the strange spot appeared on my cheek, I already had a dermatologist I knew and trusted to take it off and examine it.

Don’t play amateur chemist with your skin–you know what I mean–you start seeing signs of aging and begin dumping money into the skin care counters at the mall or the skin care aisle at the pharmacy. Get solid treatment advice. Nothing I tried on my own helped my “aging” skin–I just got redder and drier. Go see the dermatologist–especially about that funny spot that won’t go away.

Meanwhile, the personal plan is going strong. I still can’t make myself exercise like I need to–I spend too much time running around to spend time walking (hahaha). However, reminding myself of my changed habits, even when the old stress-induced eating voice comes back, has helped me keep it between the lines, so to speak.

But the most important thing going for me right now is a continual release of all my stuff to God. “Come to me all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest”–Jesus said that and he meant it. My load isn’t much compared to many, but he graciously takes it anyway. I am eternally (no pun intended) grateful that there is a God who personally cares for us as his children.

To those of you who are going through real trouble, I am praying for you. To those of you who are living in a season of peace, I am rejoicing with you. Have a great day!!

Today I feel the deep need to preach heavily to myself. I struggle with entitlement. You know, that feeling that you somehow Deserve rewards that are in no way tied to your activities.

 I have had a very busy week–so little time online with you guys–and some real challenges this week. This culminated in a “you deserve a break today” lunch break. Surely I could order the chicken quesadilla at the Mexican place we love and eat it all with not a worry because I was Entitled to a good lunch due to my stress level.

This had nothing to do with hunger (only a bit peckish, not starved), with high activity levels (slept in and missed my morning walk), nor with healthy food choices (not a veggie nor a fruit in sight–just meat, cheese, and bread). My choice of when, how much, and what to eat had everything to do with me feeling like I somehow Deserved this lunch based on my negative life experiences.

I wouldn’t even call it emotional eating. I was only mildly ticked off on the feeling barometer. I was mostly feeling Entitled.

I don’t mind rewarding a good workout, good portion sizes, and healthy choices with a bit of dessert. I don’t mind rewarding a 20 pound weight loss with a new sweater (only 5 more to go!!). But this feeling of entitlement has got to go! I just can’t reward myself for continuing to exist under adversity!

Punishment must fit the crime and reward has to be logically connected to effort. Well, no more food for me until I am good and hungry and I know that all that quesadilla has been well and truly burned out of my system. Plus, a good 30 minutes on the Gazelle the minute I get home. I am getting off the Road to Entitlement!!!

Here’s something I’ve been dealing with very specifically lately. We feel guilt over something we’ve done, but we feel shame over what we are.

I shared with you previously that I have carried a shameful memory about being a pig at the salad bar (see Killing Kudzu) that I let run my thinking.  This was not guilt. I never felt guilty about loading up the big salad, but instead I felt shame for what I believed I WAS.

Meanwhile, I have done things in the past that I felt heartily sorry for–such as a hurtful comment I made once–and I felt the guilt and needed to confess that comment and get forgiveness for it, but I never translated that cruel act into a shame statement that said I was a cruel person. I said something mean, but I knew I wasn’t a mean person.

 What is the difference? I really think it is our Shame rather than our Guilt that holds us trapped in mindsets and heartsets that keep us from making the steps in our personal plans that would help us get healthier.

How many of you have held longtime Shame because someone hurt you? The blame rests squarely on the abuser, but instead we carry this inner Shame that says, “You are a bad person. You asked for that. You don’t deserve any better than this overweight body, this hopeless life, these bad relationships.” That defenseless person who got hurt did not do anything to deserve any of this.

Feel free to feel guilty over what you actually did that was mean or hurtful or greedy–nip that shame in the bud. If you didn’t do it, don’t carry the blame!!!

I really am beginning to believe in the power of Speaking the Truth over these things. Here’s what I do: Go ahead and speak aloud to myself, to God, to this group in a blog the Shame I carry. I say it outloud just like that nasty inner voice says it to me–”I am a pig! I am worthless!” Then I try to dig up that event that’s driving this feeling. I show it to myself, to God, to supportive friends so that event can get Truth poured all over it. Here’s what really happened–not the shameful movie replay that keeps running my mind and sabotaging me. I take full responsibility for any part of it that was me, then put the truth of the blame where it rightfully belongs.

 I think that the hardest thing to do is to really tell yourself the Truth. We hide behind lies we tell ourselves, we bury events so deeply in our memories that all they can do is rot. We are so afraid to air these things out. But I really think that until we’ve confronted our Shame and our Guilt with Truth, we can’t get past those sabotaging voices.

Some folks have major, scary hurts they must dig up. Some have very minor hurts (mine are so ordinary as to be laughable). But as long as they continue to sabotage our lives, these events must be dug up, worked over with the Truth, forgiven, and put away harmless to hurt us any more.

Here’s to not running away anymore!